Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconjosiecarioca: More from JosieCarioca


Featured in Collections


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 21, 2011
File Size
5.5 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,553
Favourites
44 (who?)
Comments
53
×


Chapter I

Spinner´s End, Cokeworth, Northern England.

October, 1998.


Severus put down the book and puffed heavily. It was the sixth time the bloody doorbell had rung.

Probably the teenage delinquents who were in the inconvenient habit of roaming Spinner´s End on occasion. During the past few years, they had been coming over to that abandoned part of town whenever they felt bored or were being chased by the police. As a matter of fact, with the street´s alarming state of decay, most of its houses deserted, it was rather surprising that the juvenile gangster-hopefuls didn´t come around to "visit" more often.

Spinner´s End was after all a perfect hiding place...Nobody better than Severus knew that...

But the fact was that Spinner´s End was ruined to such a degree that not even those little punks took a more than passing interest in it. Sometimes they entered an abandoned house to smoke, played some loud music (that is, if that godawful cacophony could be called "music" at all), or just wandered around cursing, fighting and generally raising hell, before getting bored and moving on to more interesting acts of vandalism.

After Severus had moved back, the little dunderheads had decided to stick around for longer, thrilled to have a potential new victim to play with. But a couple of simple charms managed to convince the youngsters that Spinner´s End was haunted, much to Severus´ amusement...Soon they had disappeared...And yet, after months of complete peace, there they were at it again.

They would learn their lesson this time....

He yanked the door open, his other hand reaching for the magically locked wooden cabinet where he kept his wand, but instead of a rowdy bunch of brats, all Severus saw was a woman standing at his door.

"Good afternoon..." she let out in a husky voice, a courteous smile on her lips.

"Good afternoon" he answered grudgingly "And before you waste your breath: whatever it is you´re advertising, I´m not interested."

With a flick of his wrist the door moved. But her hand stopped it before it could slam in her face. Taken aback, Severus opened the door again. Her gall had managed to catch his interest. He inspected the woman before him from head to toe, his eyes both focused and disdainful.

Certainly a muggle... about 30-years old, quite tall, probably around 5'8 or 5'9 (she had heeled boots on, though, so he could be wrong), with a sturdy yet willowy build. Her dark brown hair was held back in a tight ponytail that showed off a rather particular face: strong eyebrows, alert golden brown eyes, a Greek nose and a somewhat wide mouth. Her olive complexion showed rosy undertones in the chilly Autumn wind. She wore a brick red blouse, brown scarf and brown skirt, with a beige overcoat that, although elegant, looked a bit too light for the temperature outside. She was good-looking, Severus conceded...But that only made her presence at his doorstep all the more odd... Good-looking, well-dressed people were not an usual occurrence at Spinner´s End...

"I´m sorry to bother you... My name is Evelyn, Evelyn Black." She stretched out her hand, but Severus merely looked at her, motionless and uninterested. She cracked a very uneasy smile. It was obvious she was forcing herself to be polite in spite of his bluntness. Only now Severus noticed his visitor had a slight accent...he couldn´t quite pinpoint where from...Irish, maybe? Definitely not Scottish...Well, it didn´t matter.

"Uh...-she continued-I just moved here and..."

"You just...moved" Severus raised an eyebrow "Here?"

"Well, yes. Just this morning..."

"Why would you do that?" Why would anybody do that?, he thought to himself, but said nothing.

"It´s a long story, actually...."

"It was a rhetorical question..." Severus interrupted her, using a purposely condescending tone, a wry smile dancing on his thin lips. She was visibly annoyed now. Good. Only a matter of moments before she decided to leave him alone.

"Actually...I don´t plan on wasting too much of your time, let alone annoying you with unwelcome stories" She answered in a mellow tone filled with subtle contempt.

Severus rolled his eyes. He had obviously underestimated her.

"I´m just looking for someone..." She took out an old and rugged little notebook from her purse "Eileen Prince. Does she live here?"

Severus blinked and just stared at her for a long moment, completely disarmed.

"Snape..." He let out quietly

"I beg your pardon?"

"Eileen Snape...Prince was her maiden name..."

"Oh, so she does live here."

"Not anymore."

"I see..." Evelyn shifted on her feet "She moved then..."

"She´s dead.... Has been for twenty years actually."

Evelyn bit her lower lip, obviously embarrassed

"I´m sorry to hear that...In that case, I guess I should get going then..."

"Wait a minute, Miss...I´sorry, you said your name was..?"

"Black. Evelyn Black." As she relaxed and her accent came through more clearly... Irish...she was definitely Irish, Severus thought to himself "Mr... Snape, I assume?"

"Severus Snape..." He opened the door all the way and cocked his head back gesturing for her to come in.
EDIT: Many thanks to :iconpreseli: for the corrections!

I´m a liar, I know! I keep saying I´m not going to use Evelyn in a fic and here it is...Evelyn in a fic :blush:

I just had this idea floating on my mind for days now, and I had to write...

So there it is, Severus and Evelyn´s first meeting.

And no, don´t expect love at first sight or sugary romance...That´s not how Snape rolls (neither does Evelyn btw)

Still not sure if I continue or not... opinions, please? (My first ever Harry Potter fic, be gentle, ok? =P)

Severus Snape and Harry Potter © J.K.Rowling

Evelyn is all mine. ;P


EDIT: Decided to continue!!!! :dummy: Chapter II is here: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkuramaloveryum:
kuramaloveryum Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013
STUNNING! I really really love your writing style. I love this imaginative introduction to your Evelyn. I love that your keeping very true to Snape's nature. Really digging this so far!
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!It´s been while I don´t get a comment in this chapter...felt good to come back to it (when I wrote it I wasn´t even thinking about continuing :XD:)I hope you keep reading (and enjoying it) :D
Reply
:iconkuramaloveryum:
kuramaloveryum Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
You're more than welcome. I loved the whole set. I was kind of sad their wasn't more ^^;
Reply
:iconrouquinamour:
rouquinamour Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011
Very good :) I enjoy her characterization, and he was in character as well - lovely!
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:bow: Thank you very much! Glad you like Evelyn and Snape´s characterizations. I worked really hard on keeping Snape "Snape-like" and giving Evelyn an interesting personality, so your comment really means a lot! :hug:
Reply
:iconrouquinamour:
rouquinamour Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011
Thanks :) I've written Snape fanfiction as well, and although it's a bit difficult to get Snape's characterization down, it's always satisfying to do so! It's also very hard to come by, and very satisfying to read :)
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, yes. Snape is a true pleasure to both read and write, when handled correctly. Writing him specially is so challenging and fun :D (sorta liberating in a way, too...Snape is the kind of guy who just don´t give a f*ck...Sometime I wish I was more like this :XD:)

I´ll check out your fics when I have the time! (I´ve been promising people left and right I´ll read their fics, but seriously can´t find the time :XD: It´s getting embarrassing :blush:)

I hope you enjoy the next chapters, if you read them... And thank you for the comments! :huggle:
Reply
:iconjongkhan:
JongKhan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011
Great beginning! I look forward to more chapters. You've piqued my interest here. Well done.
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I´m glad to know that! :huggle: I´ll have a new chapter soon, so stay tuned ;P
Reply
:iconmiss-jose:
Miss-Jose Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011  Hobbyist
No me interesan mucho los fics, así que de mi parte no vas a tener una lectora asidua... n_nU
En cuanto al capítulo,me encantó como interpretaste a Snape, usaste todas frases que él diría XD
Y me dejaste pensando por qué conoce a la madre de Snape... :confused:
Jeje, me encanta lo inteligente que es Eileen, enseguida se dio cuenta de que Snape se llamaba Snape :D
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Enserio nisiquier pensé que ibas leer eso, ya que no eres fan de Snape, asi que muchisimas gracias por echar una ojeada y comentarlo :D :hug:

Asi que te deje intrigada? Quizas eso te haga continuar a leerlo ;P...

Quieres decir que Evelyn es inteligente, no? :confused: Eileen es la madre de Snape (solo ahora me di cuente que le di a Evelyn un nombre algo similar al de Eileen :XD:). Si, si, es una mujer inteligente, hay que ser inteligente para interactuar con un hombre como Snape creo(como estaba comentando con :iconkrimihild-k: si Evelyn fuera bruja, hubiera sido una Ravenclaw sin duda :D)...

Enserio creo que este fic sera uno de los mas dificiles que escribire...Snape es un personaje demasiado problemático :shakefist:
Reply
:iconscoutf:
ScoutF Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I love how he has no appreciation for pop music. :lmao:
I would like to read more of this, it's a promising start. :)
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Snape is more of a classical music fan I suppose ;P

Thanks for the comment! I hope you´ll like the next chapter as well :D
Reply
:iconscoutf:
ScoutF Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes... or maybe he just has no time for such nonsense. :XD:

You're welcome!
Reply
:iconfelixuta:
Felixuta Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hmmmmm home I'll get to read some more about those two :love:
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You probably will ;P
Reply
:iconfelixuta:
Felixuta Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
YAY!:dummy:
Reply
:iconthe-hyacinthgirl:
the-hyacinthgirl Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Beautiful prose! My curiosity is piqued and I really want to read the rest! =]]
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, and thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot:hug:...Considering the requests I´m really inclined to continue :D
Reply
:iconkrimhild-k:
Krimhild-K Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
CON-TI-NÚ-A-LO!!!!!


La idea es buena, tus personajes son buenos!! Amé tu caracterización de Snape. Es absolutamente él!!
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
La caracterizacion de Snape es probablemente el más difícil y, a un tiempo, divertido :D Y escribirlo afuera de Hogwarts y interactuando con un personaje original es aún más complejo, creo :shakefist:...

Que piensas de Evelyn? Quiero decir de Evelyn con Snape...la interaccion entre ellos es completamente diferente de todo que he escrito, asi que aun estoy un poquito insegura :blush:
Reply
:iconkrimhild-k:
Krimhild-K Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Sip, Snape es complicado, pero a mí me ha parecido bien. Me lo imagino perfectamente allí, aislado, malhumorado, harto de todo. La interacción es coherente, porque no hay ningún flechazo ni mucho menos, sólo un vago interés, casi una curiosidad. Da la idea de que es su soledad lo que lo impulsa a estudiar más detenidamente a Evelyn. Y claro, se da cuenta de que tiene ciertos detalles interesantes... Es algo que evolucionará de forma leeeentaaaa.

"Good afternoon" he answered grudgingly- And before you waste your breath: whatever it is you´re advertising, I´m not interested. " Jajaja! esto no podría ser más Snape!
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Solo ahora me di cuenta que en ese fic Snape parece un de aquellos viejitos gruñones que pasan sus dias a gritar a los niños de la vecinidad :XD: Y tiene tan solo 38 años :giggle:

Y si, has captado bien el tipo de interés que tiene por Evelyn(por lo momento)... No creo que sea capaz de enamorarse a primera vista (sobretodo despues de Lily) o salir buscando un nuevo amor, pero también no gusta que sea un "monje" que nisiquiera mira las mujeres...Creo que puede apreciar la belleza de una mujer aunque de manera "intelectual", y creo que después de unos cuantos meses aislado en Spinner´s End, su soledad se haria sentir, y buscaria algun contacto humano (aunque sin hacerlo concientemente y sin reconocer que lo desee)...

Al fin, despues de tantos años reprimiendo sus emociones, Snape tendria que volver a aprender a "tener un corazón". Su amor por Lily es la prueba de que el es capaz de ser muy emotivo, hasta apasionado, pero ha hecho de todo para sofocar ese aspecto de el mismo. Asi que enamorase de nuevo seria casi como volver atras, hasta su infancia y pasar novamente por el despertar de sentimientos que tuvo entonces con Lily... Creo que por eso la relacion entre el y Evelyn sera a un tiempo compleja, lenta y delicada...Y debera necesariamente empiezar con una amistad, pues no veo Snape si dejando llevar sin tener una base de confianza...

Mi predicción es que ese fic sera bastante dificil de escribir :shakefist:
Reply
:iconkrimhild-k:
Krimhild-K Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
Jaja... lo que dices sobre que parece un viejo gruñón me recuerda una conversación que tuve con un amigo hace unos años cuando teníamos como 25 años, y a él todo le estaba saliendo mal, y me dice "quiero tener 40 años, usar bastón para pegarle a los niños que juegan en la plaza y espantar a las palomas" y le respondí "hey, pero... 40 años es muy poco para eso..." y él me contestó "pues depende de la vida que hayas tenido". Así como le ha ido a Snape, perfectamente lo imagino con esa actitud a esa edad. XD

Oh, los amores a primera vista son para otro tipo de personajes... eso creo yo. No para Snape, por eso me hace mucho sentido esta primera conversación, que va de un rechazo total a un leve interés, que va más por algo que lo saca de su rutina que "esta mujer es atractiva". Snape debe sacar su corazón del congelador para que después vuelva a latir. Me da la idea de esas personas que son capaces de amar profunda e incondicionalmente, y que por lo mismo se recuperan con mucha lentitud de un fracaso. Por lo mismo, le costará aventurarse a amar nuevamente, porque si lo hace será en serio. Por eso también puede ser emotivo y apasionado, como dices... sólo que no ha tenido nunca una oportunidad de demostrarlo. (la escena en la película cuando está con Lily muerta entre sus brazos es desgarradora.... me gasté un paquete de pañuelitos con eso :( )Será interesante ver como Evelyn va minando su reticencia.

De más está decir que es bastante complicada esta historia, pero creo que lo harás bien porque entiendes muy bien la esencia de los personajes. :)
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Creo que todo tenemos nuetros momentos de "viejo gruñon", pero algunos llegan asi más temprano (creo que para Snape eso fue a los 20 :XD:)

"Será interesante ver como Evelyn va minando su reticencia." Sip, creo que para mi tambien ya que en este momento no tengo ni idéa de como lo va a hacer :XD:
Reply
:iconkrimhild-k:
Krimhild-K Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
Jaja, tienes razón, incluso de joven ya parecía viejo.

Bueno, sobre Evelyn y Snape, pues primero habría que determinar cuáles son y cómo evolucionan las intenciones de ella... porque así como lo veo a él, definitivamente no dará el primer paso.
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Si, si...creo que primero tendria que determinar cuales son las razonespara que Evelyn se interese por uno como Snape :XD: (Vaya que o es el mas encantador de los hombres, hehehe)...Pero es cierto Snape no daria el primer paso en absoluto...Sin embargo me gusta la idea que Snape sea bastante torpe en las cosas del corazon (pues que nunca ha tenido una relacion amorosa con nadie :roll:) y que necesite que alguien le guide un poquito (solo un poquito, pues no es exactamente un nino inocente, creo)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconanniekun93:
anniekun93 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Continue!! =)
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I take it that you liked then? ;P
Reply
:iconanniekun93:
anniekun93 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Yes i very much did like it! :nod: It's very good! :clap:
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe, thanks! :hug:
Reply
:iconnataliebates:
NatalieBates Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Holy shit, Snape's a ghost
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, and thank you for :+fav:ing it! :hug:
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha, no he´s not. He´s just retired ;P (in this storyline Snape did´t die from Nagini´s attack, but he did retire from teaching at Hogwarts and moved back to Spinner´s End :D)
Reply
:iconameraucanablues:
ameraucanablues Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome... keep 'em coming. I'm so happy to see Cokeworth finally popping up in fanfiction... :D
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, Cokeworth...for the longest time I imagined Spinner´s End was in Manchester or some other industrial city from the North, then I discovered JK Rowling had invented a city, so I decided to make a fic that took lace there ;P

I´m glad you liked it! Considering the good reactions to this fic so far, I´m very inclined to continue it:D Thank you for the comment. (also for the :+fav:s and watch! :huggle:)
Reply
:iconwobbler1957:
wobbler1957 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Nicely done, only issue I have with it is in 1998 Sev would be 28. We know Eileen took him to the train station when he was 11, but you have her dying when he was 8....

Of course, AU and all that...
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually he was 38, it was the year of the Battle of Hogwarts (the same year Snape died in the original timeline). He was born in 1960 and went to Hogwarts at 11, in 1971 [link] So I had Eileen die when he was 18, actually ;D Thank you for the comment, btw
Reply
:iconwobbler1957:
wobbler1957 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Argh!! Undone by my negligence in using my calculator!! Sorry...
Reply
:iconpreseli:
Preseli Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Wobbler, he'd sneer at your maths! ;)
Reply
:iconwobbler1957:
wobbler1957 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
He'd not only sneer at my math, he put me in detention for many many days.

Delightful thought, that.
Reply
:icondwellingnymph:
DwellingNymph Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is great! I can't wait for the next chapter! :flirty:
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! :hug:
Reply
:icongiranduloni:
giranduloni Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Well,well,well....very interesting...I wonder what happens after...Go on, Lady Macbeth, go on !
Reply
:iconjosiecarioca:
JosieCarioca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :hug: I wasn´t sure if I should continue or not, but the comments are starting to really encourage me ;P
Reply
Add a Comment: